Lesley Receipt #14

Narrative #1

Fresh new roll of toilet paper and I’m good to go. Take my seat on the “throne” and search my magazine collection for a good read. I’ve already read Football International about sixty times, I basically have it memorised. I guess it’s time to move on, so Sarah’s story magazine it is. I hate reading all this junk about celebrities and who’s fat, anorexic or whatever. It’s always all about girls and their body issues. I haven’t ever heard anything about guys pissing over size 2. Moving on, let’s turn the page. What’s this? Tom Brady’s diet before a big game? This could come in handy. After all, my football championship is this Thursday. It seems to me that’s he’s all about the vegetables. I guess I’ll have to cut the custard, maybe I can meet somewhere in the middle. Sugar peas perhaps? Anyway, apparently they’ve got him on veggie soup, green beans, string beans, kidney beans and chilli beans. That’s a lot of beans. Man, just thinking about it gives me gas… good thing I’m already on the john.

photo credit : aaron van dike @ http://www.flickr.com/

Narrative #2

Every June, Claire gets a little older and this time she will be 5. This year, she wants to have a fairytale princess luncheon. One where all of her friends will attend dressed up as royalty with their favorite teddy bear.
The lunch will consist of soup, served with a side of melba toast, spread with margarine. Once they’ve finished lunch, they want to try tea and snacks. Refined sugar, English tea, sisi oranges and pastries filled with custard will be served. We’ll see how that goes, there’s always the milk incase the girls don’t quite have the taste for tea they were hoping for.
Once the lunch is done, they will play fairytale games and sing magical songs. On they way out they’ll be sure to grab a loot bag, filled with sweets and an enchanted story magazine. Claire will have the best birthday yet, hopefully.